Grief is a funny thing ✿

to anyone who is grieving too

How many more years?

A whole decade has passed and the tears are still yet to dry

They say things will get better

And they do; don’t get me wrong

But there are off-days

Days when you wish they were right in front of you,

Smiling,

Nights when you wish that they were really just a phone call away

Fulfilling big life achievements and getting that sudden reminder that they aren’t here

But that’s how grief works.

It’s not linear

It’s a cycle

An ocean filled with waves of emotions

But,

Don’t give up

There is hope

Even when you feel like there’s none

You will receive and experience joy again.

I would know,

And when you experience happiness again, it’s okay

You deserve to be happy

You deserve joy

You deserve love

You deserve to be hopeful again

They would want that for you.

Dear you,

Grief is a funny thing indeed. I wanted to share this with you guys as my first blog post here on substack because I felt like I should and bring comfort to those who relate to me too. I am normally a private person when it comes to sharing my story about losing my mum who was very dear to me and still is. Even telling those around me, I couldn’t fathom people who I didn’t see as friends or strangers know such sensitive private information about me. Because, even the friends (new & old) I hold quite dearly to me don’t even know. And whenever I mentioned it to someone, I could immediately tell they were pitying me, say “I’m sorry for you loss” or start to walk on eggshells whenever a discussion is brought up and it is about mothers etc. Those were things I used to hate. So from those awkward experiences, I guess I started to generalise everyone else and just decided to tell someone whenever I felt like the time was right or if they ever asked. I somewhat find it difficult to share or tend to refrain from sharing because it is such a sensitive part of my life that I treat with so much care due to the battles I faced throughout my whole journey. So, it is hard. But ever since I started my walk with Christ, I realised my story is important to tell because there is probably so many other people experiencing the same things, who need to be comforted and encouraged like I needed. So, I have decided to put my pride and my negative associations aside and begin to share my story.

To summarise, I lost my mum to myeloma on the year of 2012 when I was really young. I only experienced 7 years of my life on the earth before she was gone. The years after her passing have not been easy at all. But like I said, grief is a cycle. So I’m going to end this post with two bible scriptures that have encouraged me and I hope they’ll also encourage you, Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” and Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”

Love, S